Tyra Banks Goes Insane Again (a fantasy)

Ever since I saw the clip of Tyra Banks going bonkers over Vaseline, I’ve had this perverse fantasy of being in the studio audience when she announces that she’s going to give everyone a very special gift.

Tyra: I’m about to reveal my biggest driving secret ever!!!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tyra: Yes!!! Yes!!! Yesss!!!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tyra: During the commercial break, we had some really hunky guys give you some special boxes and inside these boxes are my SUPER DUPER drive and anything gift!!!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tyra: On the count of three, I want you all to open them. Drumroll, PLEASE!!! (drumroll and crowd screams) ONE! TWO! THREE! OPEN THEM!!! OPEN THEM!!! OPEN THEM!!! OPEN THEM!!!
Audience: (opens boxes) WOOOOOHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Tyra: IT’S A PARTY, Y’ALL!!! (waves arm holding out a card) It’s a one year supply of GASOLINE!!!
Audience continues to scream in a frenzy.
Tyra: (points finger to audience member) YOU GET GASOLINE! (to another) YOU GET GASOLINE! (to me) YOU GET GASOLINE! (to another and another, going on for a while) YOU GET GASOLINE!
Audience screams even more.
Tyra: THESE JUST AREN’T ANY CARDS OF GASOLINE!!! BE BEDAZZLED!!! (waves card in the air) THIS GASOLINE (card) IS GOOD FOR ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tyra: I love it!!! I pump it morning, noon, and night! YOUR WILDEST DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!!!!!!!
Audience screams in approval and Tyra joins in. She soon falls to the floor and starts kicking up her feet.

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