I’m not gay! (what do you think?)

I’m not talking about myself, of course. Anyone who’s read this blog and anyone who knows me in real time would laugh if I said that. I found this vid on Ex-Gay Watch, and this young man tries to explain why he isn’t gay, despite that he’s a flaming queen. I do, however, feel a great deal of sympathy for him as he reveals his conflicting feelings and beliefs in this rambling post.

Here are some noteworthy quotes:

It’s not my fault I find men attractive. And, yes, I still find men attractive.

I’ve never gone around sleeping with men, I’ve never gone around making out with men, I’ve never really lived the gay lifestyle and I really don’t want to. I just find men attractive and I know that in time that will fade. It has faded a lot… It has faded a lot..

I want to be accepted by other men, I want to be friends with men, I want to be loved by men, I want to minister to men, I want to love men…

At least on some level he can accept being gay as part of himself, though he likens it to a disease. Although, I don’t think gayness ever fades over time. I’ve been there. I hate that I wasted my late teens and my early twenties dealing with this BS and spent the later twenties getting un-fucked up from it. Regarding the third quote, amen to that and I say that as a gay man.

I must say that his “attraction” to men will not be an insignificant issue in his list of problems in the years to come.

2 thoughts on “I’m not gay! (what do you think?)

  1. so sad!i hope he finds the way to live his life in truth.sorry to hear you got caught up in that BS too Shindo. i know i was lucky to have come out as drama free as i did at 20.

  2. I’m glad to say my parents had nothing to do with that crap. Neither of them are fundies. I believed, had spiritual joy, and then this crap.I really hope he finds his way, whatever that is, and I feel for him because he reminds me of myself at his age.

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