I’m not talking about myself, of course. Anyone who’s read this blog and anyone who knows me in real time would laugh if I said that. I found this vid on Ex-Gay Watch, and this young man tries to explain why he isn’t gay, despite that he’s a flaming queen. I do, however, feel a great deal of sympathy for him as he reveals his conflicting feelings and beliefs in this rambling post.
Here are some noteworthy quotes:
It’s not my fault I find men attractive. And, yes, I still find men attractive.
I’ve never gone around sleeping with men, I’ve never gone around making out with men, I’ve never really lived the gay lifestyle and I really don’t want to. I just find men attractive and I know that in time that will fade. It has faded a lot… It has faded a lot..
I want to be accepted by other men, I want to be friends with men, I want to be loved by men, I want to minister to men, I want to love men…
At least on some level he can accept being gay as part of himself, though he likens it to a disease. Although, I don’t think gayness ever fades over time. I’ve been there. I hate that I wasted my late teens and my early twenties dealing with this BS and spent the later twenties getting un-fucked up from it. Regarding the third quote, amen to that and I say that as a gay man.
I must say that his “attraction” to men will not be an insignificant issue in his list of problems in the years to come.