All right, I’ll spit it out: Friends do not let friends do “Ugly Sweater Parties.”
This year, I became aware of a theme party phenomenon known as the Ugly Sweater Party. In fact, if you Google the term, you’ll get result after result where bloggers have chosen to embarass themselves by showing the world what hideous garments they are capable of SELECTING and then WEARING! If you’ve never seen any of these images before, you are warned. You will be traumatized by this alleged exercize in irony.
I fail to see the irony in the ugly sweater contest. What is ironic? That the participants have such great taste that they willfully put on garments that rightfully belong in the landfill? Are they making fun of the badly dressed? Are they poking fun at those who wear gaudy sweaters with cutesy appliqués during the holidays to show their Christmas spirt? What? Only the wrong kind of people would actually wear them in a non-ironic setting? I better stop because my head is starting to hurt on the questions.
If you think you’re so clever and ironic by participating in the ugly sweater party, let me break it you. You are in bad taste. You picked the ugliest garment possible and you’re quite proud of your find. If you think you’re somehow better than the person who likes to be cute in those gaudy appliqué sweaters, think again. You’re much worse. There’s something sweet and earnest about someone who picks that sweater without irony. You, on the other hand, are mean and superior (in your mind, anyway). While we’re on the subject of mean and superior, imagine Clinton and Stacy of What Not To Wear hovering over you as you search for that ultimate party find. They are clever and ironic, and bitchy on top of that. Who do you think would win? Not you.
I refuse to post any images. The Internet is littered with pictures of people celebrating their bad taste and their affected irony, which they think will make them interesting. They should actually try to be interesting, but that’s too much work for some.
For those of you who don’t partake in the ugly sweater party, be a good friend and don’t let your friends do “ugly sweater parties.” It’ll only be embarassing in the long term. However, if you’re evil, go to the party sans sweater and take lots of pictures. They’ll think it’s great that you’re chronicling the event, but you have the goods against them whenever no one ever wants to admit they ever participated in this new and ghastly custom.