Resplendence: Feuille 28

Leaf28

When I get out of the hospital, this is my to do list:

  • Shop (not shoplift) in Beverly Hills.
  • Make an appearance on Oprah Winfrey’s show and, while I’m in Chicago, go all the way up the Sear’s Tower.
  • Make sure my phone’s set up to block Bryan with a Y’s calls (Do you really think I’d give him my number?).
  • Enroll at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) because that’s where Calvin Klein graduated.
  • After graduation from FIT, become the world’s most famous fashion designer.
  • Make it ok for men to wear lipstick.
  • Pressure radio stations to give Björk’s songs #1 status.
  • Walk down Melrose Avenue and look better than any L.A. person.
  • Be a fabulous A-lister.

Other things I can put on my to-do list:

  • Put together a bouquet of California poppies and give it to Susan.
  • Lock Dr. Laura and Dr. Laura (from the hospital) in a room and make them listen to tapes of Dr. Laura’s radio show non-stop.
  • Give Edmund a $500 shopping spree at Borders so he can leave my books alone. Bitch slap Bryan with a Y just once (Roger can’t have all the fun here).
  • Track Dr. Marcus and cut his dick off. Take amputated dick and shove it down his throat.

There are some other things I can do:

  • Design a glamorous dress Roger will love and envy even though it has no sequins or anything else sparkly.
  • Get Dylan to stop wearing that Moby t-shirt on his days off (he’s got quite a few of these so this may take some doing).
  • Develop my own cosmetic line and the Gold Lady can endorse it.
  • I know the Gold Lady drives a Mercedes, but I would get a Volve instead (too many scary people on the freeways).
  • Last, but not least, I want to be friends with Shin again.

©2003-2009 shindotv

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