Girl, Please!

Even with my unconventional hours of teaching, I don’t have time to tune in to Oprah. This past Wednesday, she interviewed Ted Haggard, nellie closet queen and defrocked Evangelical minister, and the videos are featured in an article in the Huffington Post.

After getting lots of backrubs and happy endings from Mike Jones, Haggard still insists he’s straight. Apparently, he found a counselor who’d tell him what he desperately wanted to hear. At least he’s honest about it being complex, but how can someone be a “heterosexual man with homosexual attachments?” Also, how many men who are really heterosexual have a history of constant “homosexual temptation?” Girl, please!

Beyond seeing a masseur, Ted Haggard’s “homosexual attachments”extended to pursuing a sexual relationship with a young male member of the New Life Church.

Oprah asks him, “What are you sorry for? Being a hypocrite?” Haggard should be sorry about this now, especially with the continued denials. As for Gayle Haggard, does she deserve an Oscar, some pills, or both?

Mike Jones recently speaks out why he wrote I Had To Say Something and some of the lies that has been said about him, especially by New Life Church.

Hat tip to Gary for the link in Huffingoton Post.

4 thoughts on “Girl, Please!

  1. Oh, girl, you know Ted’s straight. Totally straight. Totally straight to bed!

    Yeah, I’m really shocked that the three weeks of straight conversion therapy didn’t work. See the shock on my face? (It’s under the goatee. Trust me.)

    Denial’s a really interesting thing.

    Chris’s last blog post..Contradicting myself

  2. I don’t know what it’s like to be gay, but I do know that, as a straight man, I’m pretty much only attracted to women. I don’t feel constant temptation to give “the other side a try” or whatever the heck Haggard is talking about. I’m pretty sure that if you feel that “constant” temptation, you probably ARE gay.

    The real shame here is that if he’d just accept that sometimes people are born gay and sometimes they’re born straight and sometimes people love who they love, he’d not be having any of this trouble. The very thing he has preached about is the very thing that makes it so hard for him to just be himself.

    It’s the real crime in all of this–and he’s committed it against himself.

    Maybe someone should do an intervention. I’d be happy to lead it–“OK, Rev, we’re here because you have a problem. Now, I want you to repeat after me: Clive Owen is a sexy, SEXY man and that’s OK for me to think that.”

    Life is so much easier when you’re honest, isn’t it?

    ThePete’s last blog Charlie Mad

  3. @Chris Haha! That is funny. Unfortunately, it’s not fun to live in the comedy of Haggard’s life right now. Hopefully, he’ll have that moment where he says “I’m Gay” and it’s a big musical number chiming in. Come out and pastor the gays, Ted. You could start the first big gay megachurch. Do you want to do that or sell insurance?

    @ThePete Thank you! I needed a straight guy to help prove my point about Ted. Heterosexual men do not have “homosexual attachments.” If someone has “homosexual attachments,” then they are very likely gay or bisexual. Ted, pick a number on the Kinsey scale and we can help you decide what you are.

    Mrs. Haggard, you need to embrace Arianna Huffington as your role model. She was a professional beard once, but now she’s a fabulous opinionista.

    Haggard kids – get acquainted with Jay Bakker. He’s been where you are and you can learn a lot from him.

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