A Last Supper: Folsom Street Fair

Here is an image for your Saturday morning viewing pleasure.

This ad for the Folsom Street Fair apparently angered some ex-gay and fundie activists. No surprise there. However, a blogger on Ex-Gay Watch was also offended.
As for the fundies (and the “no longer gay” closet cases), I wonder what offended them the most:

a. Jesus is black.
b. Jesus is gay.*
c. Jesus is surrounded by gay men, women, leather men, drag queens.
d. All of the above.

The poster on Ex-Gay Watch has a view that many gay conservatives and religious types hold. This writer is concerned about the appropriation of a sacred image, which is obviously Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper. Appropriation of this iconic painting as blasphemy is very superfluous. The real concern of this blogger is that the ad endorses “medically dangerous acts, its inversion of the values of faith, love and self-sacrifice.”

As much as I can appreciate his perspective, to waste energy taking exception to this image is an “inversion of the values of faith, love and self-sacrifice.” Jesus would would not be as concerned about this image as he would with the fundies, the ex-gays, and even the gayly pious. The people depicted in this photo are the unacceptable of modern society and even the mainstream gay community. Anyone familiar with the Gospels knows that Christ reached out to the outcasts and those the righteous and holy rejected. Somewhere along the line, modern Christians, even gay ones, have failed to follow Christ’s example.

*only an inference, nothing else.

I’m not gay! (what do you think?)

I’m not talking about myself, of course. Anyone who’s read this blog and anyone who knows me in real time would laugh if I said that. I found this vid on Ex-Gay Watch, and this young man tries to explain why he isn’t gay, despite that he’s a flaming queen. I do, however, feel a great deal of sympathy for him as he reveals his conflicting feelings and beliefs in this rambling post.

Here are some noteworthy quotes:

It’s not my fault I find men attractive. And, yes, I still find men attractive.

I’ve never gone around sleeping with men, I’ve never gone around making out with men, I’ve never really lived the gay lifestyle and I really don’t want to. I just find men attractive and I know that in time that will fade. It has faded a lot… It has faded a lot..

I want to be accepted by other men, I want to be friends with men, I want to be loved by men, I want to minister to men, I want to love men…

At least on some level he can accept being gay as part of himself, though he likens it to a disease. Although, I don’t think gayness ever fades over time. I’ve been there. I hate that I wasted my late teens and my early twenties dealing with this BS and spent the later twenties getting un-fucked up from it. Regarding the third quote, amen to that and I say that as a gay man.

I must say that his “attraction” to men will not be an insignificant issue in his list of problems in the years to come.

From The Horse’s Mouth

I received this lovely response from Michael Glatze regarding “No Longer Gay?,” one of my posts from Tuesday, July 3 (I’m sure I’m not the only one). I did, as a courtesy, include his “coming out” as ex-gay column as a link in my post, but giving the reader access to his story isn’t enough. In all fairness, his side of the story along with his insipid, but deadly theology should be heard. He did ask me to post this to my blog, and I’m obliging him. I am too kind.

To My Friends Who Are Trapped In Homosexuality
By Michael Glatze

Dear friend,

Thank you for your kind comments and keen observations regarding my story and my revelation about no longer being homosexual and now being heterosexual. I thank you for the time that you have spent in considering this issue, deeply, and with great passion. God loves you.

God is right there, within you, whether you like to see Him or not. Can you humble yourself to Him? It’s a really nice feeling. I know that, in some small way, you want to. We all do. We don’t like being separated from our Father; it makes us sad and lonely, forcing us to be angry, to act out, to get vulgar… well, I won’t go on; many of you have already demonstrated, on your blog comments, exactly what I’m
talking about. ?

God love you, Yes! He does! And, He wants you to be free from homosexuality. God made us men and women. Think about that; you could – really – be a man or a woman! Not a strange creature… but, real! That’s awesome… ?

Change is very difficult and takes a lot of inner strength. Do you have that strength? I promise you that the Gay Identity does not exist, that it is a fabrication of mankind (look it up, if you don’t believe me), and that you are not “trapped” in same-sex-orientation. To believe that you are Gay is to be stupid. I’m sorry, if that sounds cruel; it’s not cruel. To believe that you are a false identity, created by man, unnaturally, to participate in social engineering, is
to be stupid.

It’s not the acts, as much as it is the Identity. No one ever told you that, before, because they wanted to feed you with the lie that homosexuality is a set thing. Any intelligent “homosexual” knows there’s no fixed Gay Identity. If you don’t believe me, ask the theorists or “intellectuals.” ?

Gay Identity has been packaged and fed to you, and – if you believe yourself to be “Gay” – you have eaten it, preventing you from further growth and understanding of your true and real self.

Coming out from under this packaged lie requires strong self-confidence and will and desire to know the Truth. Yes, Truth is capitalized. It is that way for a reason. There is only one Truth.

That one Truth is the fact that you are beautiful, perfect, and glorious, in the image of He who created you… God. There is only one God. I know it may be hard for you to get your head around the paradoxical nature of God… but, He is everywhere “out there” and – at the same time – right inside your soul. He sees and knows you. He
loves you. ?

He wants you to be free of homosexuality. I promise you that. He’s rooting for you; He knows you can do it. Remember, He loves you! He’s not judging you – those angry voices in your mind, planted there by Satan, might scream and judge and ridicule – but, no; He’s not judging you. He has patience. He’ll give you strength. All you have to do is pray to Him.

Prayer and love – True Love, my dear friends – requires total humility. Can you do that?

I know, in my heart, that all homosexuals desire to be free.

It is a new world, one in which the lie will not stand much longer. The tide is turning. Be not afraid! It’s a good change! Jesus will come. ? And, when that day happens, will you be – truly – yourself!? Or, will you be a demon, trapped in a fabrication not your own, lusting and hating and destroying your soul to hell? Consider this one last thing: all the love you may believe you feel for yourself or for someone else, while trapped in the homosexual mindset, is a grain of sand on the beach of the love that you could feel. Healing is possible. When you choose to go there, you know who to call on for help. His name is Jesus Christ.

Michael Glatze

Update:
Chris is right. Those smilies are so annoying. Did Glatze’s conversion, LIKE, turn him into a Valley Girl? Like, Omigod! It’s like totally awesome!

It’s fun to find out that Michael Glatze’s now a Mormon. This I found out on Ex-Gay watch this morning:

I also confirmed I’m not the only blogger hit by the e-mail reproduced in full above.

No Longer Gay?

I found this on Ex-Gay Watch about Michael Glatze, former editor of Young Gay America, who does a 180 after finding Jesus though dealing with his illness and personal problems.

Why is it when some gays “find Jesus,” they become serious homophobes? Perhaps the question is, when some gay activists become “born again Christians,” why do they go on a campaign to inflict their self-loathing upon everyone else?

The new, reformed Glatze now denounces the aims and goals of his magazine and sees homosexuality as not only the root of his problems, but everyone else’s as well. He seems to be unaware of the damaging effects of the closets when they are places to hide, not store one’s frocks and fabulous shoes. The frightening thing is I have met religious closeted types who dress better than me or any other out gay or lesbian person I know.

I digress, but what he says is interesting:

God gave us truth for a reason. It exists so we could be ourselves. It exists so we could share that perfect self with the world, to make the perfect world. These are not fanciful schemes or strange ideals.

The idea of truth existing so we could be ourselves sounds wonderful. Unfortunately, the context is Glatze’s newfound hateful rhetoric. Here is the the rest of what he says, right from the horse’s mouth.

Link:
Another interesting though on Ex-Gay Watch: Relationship with God: Who Needs the Ex-Gay Middleman?

Looking Back Post-Ex Gay

As those who tune in to the broadcasts on ShindoTV know, I have quite a few posts on the ex-gay subject. I have also posted some of my reasons for posting on this topic. These people in the following videos, brought to you by exgaysurvivordan on YouTube, have been through a lot in the ex-gay programs, but they have lived to tell about it. In each of these vids, they reveal the mindset of what’s going on in someone’s mind when they’re participating in these programs.

Here is my friend Jaylen briefly talking of his experience of thinking he fell in love with a woman, which happily resulted in a lifelong friend instead. I love how he describes the unexpected feeling of falling in love with a man during this period.

Micheal Bussee, a co-founder who walked away from Exodus, gives some insight to the rationalizations one makes when feeling transformed at point and then having to face that their innate homosexual nature isn’t going away anytime soon.

Shawn O’Donnell, whose video accompanies “Why I Post On This Subject,” articulates that denial, not change happened during his ex-gay years.

My friend Gary, who helps keep me and several other friends posted on this topic, sent me this article a few days ago in the LA Times: Three Former Leaders Of Ex-Gay Ministries Apologize.

It is nice these people apologized. On some level, I never saw it as necessary because their efforts now have been to show that despite some sincere motivations, they saw how harmful ex-gay theology and therapy is. Hopefully, what they said will reach those who need to hear it.

I have a hard time believing is Alan Chambers, current president, is sincere. He and a few others have managed to make a living from self-hatred (theirs and their clients’) and doing the right thing would require a financial price. And, is there room for to forgive these perps if they ever step down?

Link:
Huffington Post, “A Call For A Dialogue from an Ex-‘Ex Gay.'”

Why I post on this subject…

Tonight’s broadcast on ShindoTV is brought to you by Shawn O’Donnell, Wayne Besen, and Truth Wins Out. This video is posted on Ex-Gay Watch and addresses the denial ex-gays go through, especially when they “lapse” into doing some very gay things.

With the postings and the videos on this subject, I’m sure some of my readers suspect I have some personal history with the ex-gay movement. The answer to that is “yes.” I was eighteen years old when I became a born-gain Christian and got the idea that being gay was wrong. I soon started going to Homosexuals Anonymous and I became fast friends with this very handsome guy in his late twenties (whom I’ll call Malcolm). He was tall (between 6’2″-6’4″), had a swimmer’s build and dark brown hair and blue eyes, and had a carried himself with an easy, masculine charm. He soon became my confidant and his attraction to me would spill dangerously into our phone conversations (with an interesting amound of denial). Interestingly, we never hooked up for sex until two years after knowing each other. By then, the sexual tension was very high and it would be my first time.

By 1997, I woke up to how awful fundamentalism is and came out of the closet shortly after.

I wonder if Malcolm ever reads this blog.

I may write more about it in the future. It’s difficult to revisit this time in my life, so I’ve dealt with it by posting videos about the “ex-gay” ministries and making fun of the perpetrators as they richly deserve.

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