I’m not gay! (what do you think?)

I’m not talking about myself, of course. Anyone who’s read this blog and anyone who knows me in real time would laugh if I said that. I found this vid on Ex-Gay Watch, and this young man tries to explain why he isn’t gay, despite that he’s a flaming queen. I do, however, feel a great deal of sympathy for him as he reveals his conflicting feelings and beliefs in this rambling post.

Here are some noteworthy quotes:

It’s not my fault I find men attractive. And, yes, I still find men attractive.

I’ve never gone around sleeping with men, I’ve never gone around making out with men, I’ve never really lived the gay lifestyle and I really don’t want to. I just find men attractive and I know that in time that will fade. It has faded a lot… It has faded a lot..

I want to be accepted by other men, I want to be friends with men, I want to be loved by men, I want to minister to men, I want to love men…

At least on some level he can accept being gay as part of himself, though he likens it to a disease. Although, I don’t think gayness ever fades over time. I’ve been there. I hate that I wasted my late teens and my early twenties dealing with this BS and spent the later twenties getting un-fucked up from it. Regarding the third quote, amen to that and I say that as a gay man.

I must say that his “attraction” to men will not be an insignificant issue in his list of problems in the years to come.

How Frakked Up Is This?

Just read this in the Advocate this morning: Baptist minister charged with indecent exposure. On some level, I don’t want to feel sorry for him because he may had some role, however small, in perpetuating homophobia and uptightness about sex in general. I do feel sorry because A: he’s a victim of his own priggish mentality, and B: he will be out of work soon. He should have thought about B before doing this:

  • Driving under the influence.
  • Public urination at a carwash (especially in front of children).
  • Wearing a skirt at the incident.
  • Sexually propositioning (presumably male) police officers when they arrived at the scene.

He’ll probably get rushed off into ex-gay rehab, never to be heard from again.

Update: This video, “Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual” seems appropriate:

How Frakked Up Is This?

Just read this in the Advocate this morning: Baptist minister charged with indecent exposure. On some level, I don’t want to feel sorry for him because he may had some role, however small, in perpetuating homophobia and uptightness about sex in general. I do feel sorry because A: he’s a victim of his own priggish mentality, and B: he will be out of work soon. He should have thought about B before doing this:

  • Driving under the influence.
  • Public urination at a carwash (especially in front of children).
  • Wearing a skirt at the incident.
  • Sexually propositioning (presumably male) police officers when they arrived at the scene.

He’ll probably get rushed off into ex-gay rehab, never to be heard from again.

Update: This video, “Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual” seems appropriate:

From The Horse’s Mouth

I received this lovely response from Michael Glatze regarding “No Longer Gay?,” one of my posts from Tuesday, July 3 (I’m sure I’m not the only one). I did, as a courtesy, include his “coming out” as ex-gay column as a link in my post, but giving the reader access to his story isn’t enough. In all fairness, his side of the story along with his insipid, but deadly theology should be heard. He did ask me to post this to my blog, and I’m obliging him. I am too kind.

To My Friends Who Are Trapped In Homosexuality
By Michael Glatze

Dear friend,

Thank you for your kind comments and keen observations regarding my story and my revelation about no longer being homosexual and now being heterosexual. I thank you for the time that you have spent in considering this issue, deeply, and with great passion. God loves you.

God is right there, within you, whether you like to see Him or not. Can you humble yourself to Him? It’s a really nice feeling. I know that, in some small way, you want to. We all do. We don’t like being separated from our Father; it makes us sad and lonely, forcing us to be angry, to act out, to get vulgar… well, I won’t go on; many of you have already demonstrated, on your blog comments, exactly what I’m
talking about. ?

God love you, Yes! He does! And, He wants you to be free from homosexuality. God made us men and women. Think about that; you could – really – be a man or a woman! Not a strange creature… but, real! That’s awesome… ?

Change is very difficult and takes a lot of inner strength. Do you have that strength? I promise you that the Gay Identity does not exist, that it is a fabrication of mankind (look it up, if you don’t believe me), and that you are not “trapped” in same-sex-orientation. To believe that you are Gay is to be stupid. I’m sorry, if that sounds cruel; it’s not cruel. To believe that you are a false identity, created by man, unnaturally, to participate in social engineering, is
to be stupid.

It’s not the acts, as much as it is the Identity. No one ever told you that, before, because they wanted to feed you with the lie that homosexuality is a set thing. Any intelligent “homosexual” knows there’s no fixed Gay Identity. If you don’t believe me, ask the theorists or “intellectuals.” ?

Gay Identity has been packaged and fed to you, and – if you believe yourself to be “Gay” – you have eaten it, preventing you from further growth and understanding of your true and real self.

Coming out from under this packaged lie requires strong self-confidence and will and desire to know the Truth. Yes, Truth is capitalized. It is that way for a reason. There is only one Truth.

That one Truth is the fact that you are beautiful, perfect, and glorious, in the image of He who created you… God. There is only one God. I know it may be hard for you to get your head around the paradoxical nature of God… but, He is everywhere “out there” and – at the same time – right inside your soul. He sees and knows you. He
loves you. ?

He wants you to be free of homosexuality. I promise you that. He’s rooting for you; He knows you can do it. Remember, He loves you! He’s not judging you – those angry voices in your mind, planted there by Satan, might scream and judge and ridicule – but, no; He’s not judging you. He has patience. He’ll give you strength. All you have to do is pray to Him.

Prayer and love – True Love, my dear friends – requires total humility. Can you do that?

I know, in my heart, that all homosexuals desire to be free.

It is a new world, one in which the lie will not stand much longer. The tide is turning. Be not afraid! It’s a good change! Jesus will come. ? And, when that day happens, will you be – truly – yourself!? Or, will you be a demon, trapped in a fabrication not your own, lusting and hating and destroying your soul to hell? Consider this one last thing: all the love you may believe you feel for yourself or for someone else, while trapped in the homosexual mindset, is a grain of sand on the beach of the love that you could feel. Healing is possible. When you choose to go there, you know who to call on for help. His name is Jesus Christ.

Michael Glatze

Update:
Chris is right. Those smilies are so annoying. Did Glatze’s conversion, LIKE, turn him into a Valley Girl? Like, Omigod! It’s like totally awesome!

It’s fun to find out that Michael Glatze’s now a Mormon. This I found out on Ex-Gay watch this morning:

I also confirmed I’m not the only blogger hit by the e-mail reproduced in full above.

Looking Back Post-Ex Gay

As those who tune in to the broadcasts on ShindoTV know, I have quite a few posts on the ex-gay subject. I have also posted some of my reasons for posting on this topic. These people in the following videos, brought to you by exgaysurvivordan on YouTube, have been through a lot in the ex-gay programs, but they have lived to tell about it. In each of these vids, they reveal the mindset of what’s going on in someone’s mind when they’re participating in these programs.

Here is my friend Jaylen briefly talking of his experience of thinking he fell in love with a woman, which happily resulted in a lifelong friend instead. I love how he describes the unexpected feeling of falling in love with a man during this period.

Micheal Bussee, a co-founder who walked away from Exodus, gives some insight to the rationalizations one makes when feeling transformed at point and then having to face that their innate homosexual nature isn’t going away anytime soon.

Shawn O’Donnell, whose video accompanies “Why I Post On This Subject,” articulates that denial, not change happened during his ex-gay years.

My friend Gary, who helps keep me and several other friends posted on this topic, sent me this article a few days ago in the LA Times: Three Former Leaders Of Ex-Gay Ministries Apologize.

It is nice these people apologized. On some level, I never saw it as necessary because their efforts now have been to show that despite some sincere motivations, they saw how harmful ex-gay theology and therapy is. Hopefully, what they said will reach those who need to hear it.

I have a hard time believing is Alan Chambers, current president, is sincere. He and a few others have managed to make a living from self-hatred (theirs and their clients’) and doing the right thing would require a financial price. And, is there room for to forgive these perps if they ever step down?

Link:
Huffington Post, “A Call For A Dialogue from an Ex-‘Ex Gay.'”

Moore Gets Phelps Real Good

My friend Gary sent me this video where Michael Moore gets the Gay Team on Fred Phelps and his church. The poor guy just withers at the sight of two (or more) men kissing, and can’t accept Moore’s invitation to come aboard the Sodomobile, which is rocking with buggery.

Gary also sent me this article in the Anorak, where we get to see the Phelps-sired Westboro Baptist Church sing “God Hates The World“*, their saccharinely angry parody of “We Are The World.” As religious kitsch, file this awful song alongside Chick Tracts and the Left Behind series.

* warning: hearing the Phelps and company sing can be traumatic to the listener.

This is seriously frakked up!

Religiously motivated hate crimes are not cool at all. Reported in the NY Times this morning, Umair Ahmad, a Moslem teenager in Queens attacked a Vacher Harpal, a Sihk classmate, in retaliation for insulting his mother. Even though Vacher apologized, Umair wouldn’t accept it. Instead of insulting him back or walking away, Umair chose cut Vacher’s hair after making him go into a school bathroom. His reasoning? His religion told him to do it. That seems to be a favorite excuse of many perpetrators regardless of their religious beliefs.

I’m glad it didn’t stick and that he’s charged with felony hate crimes. His look-out should have been charged. Many of these perps don’t do their dirty deeds without some help.

I hope that other hate crimes offenders don’t get off lightly, especially those who attack gays and minorities in the name of Jesus. The First Amendment does not extend to hurting other people, contrary to what some people may think.